"Treating Others How You Wish To Be Treated"

By Zoe

"Clothe yourselves with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience" (Colossians 3:12, NIV)


What would it look like if the people in your life were to treat you in the same way you treat them? Whether it is a family member, a close friend, or a perfect stranger, how would they treat you based on how you treat them? What do your actions and words toward others reflect about the condition of your heart?

I recently witnessed a middle-aged man, accompanied by his wife, verbally humiliate a hostess at a restaurant in front of dozens of people simply because he was tired of waiting for a table. I initially thought to myself, “Then leave…hello?!” Then I wondered how this man would have felt if someone would have humiliated him in the same way he humiliated that young lady who was clearly doing the best she could to accommodate him.

Following this incident, I felt compelled to write something that would encourage and challenge others, myself included, to be self-aware of how we treat others based on our emotions. I invite you to join me in this journey of self-evaluation and increased awareness of how we treat and respond to the unloving ways of others. I mean, think about it, nobody makes us act this way or that way. It is a choice that we make depending on the condition of our hearts. And the condition of our hearts will depend on our present (or absent) relationship with God.

We automatically love those who love us in return. It is easy to love those people, but what about those who reject us or mistreat us? What about the ones we have poured our love into and suddenly they give us the cold shoulder or they betray us in some way or another? What will we choose to do then? As I thought about it, I reflected on this simple message from Luke 6:31, "Treat others the same way you want them to treat you.”

In Proverbs 18:21, Solomon tells us that, "the tongue has the power of life and death.” The same way words of encouragement can build us up (bringing life to our self-worth), harsh words can tear us down (bringing death to our self-worth). When we are having a bad day, we must identify the root of the problem the moment we recognize we are feeling grumpy, irritable, or frustrated. By identifying the root of the problem, we can refrain from attacking others with a negative attitude and/or hurtful actions and words.

When others fail us, we can make the choice to be better instead of bitter. Now don’t misunderstand me. We are entitled to "feel" our emotions- anger, hurt, or disappointment. We should allow ourselves to feel those emotions. But we are not entitled to "act" on them- treating others based on our emotions alone. When we react out of emotion instead choosing to respond in love, we can cause serious damage to our relationships with others. Love is not just a feeling, but a choice we make; we can make the choice to love others no matter their offense.

God calls us to live in a way that reflects the way He loves us. We must first understand God’s selfless and unconditional love for us if we genuinely desire to love others that way. For those of us who have a desire to be more like Him, we must get into His Word daily. As my 6-year-old daughter says, we need to "exercise our hearts for God" daily. As we get into God's Word and exercise our hearts, we will gain wisdom on how to respond to the unloving ways of others in a Christ-like manner. As we learn how to respond in love and prayer to those who mistreat us, we will experience true joy and peace in your hearts. And I don’t know about you, but I believe that most of us want to experience peace and joy in our hearts and in our lives, along with being loved and feeling appreciated.

I don’t pretend to be the holiest or most spiritual person. I am an ordinary and imperfect person who struggles with every day challenges and who falls short of the glory of God. But I am an ordinary person with an extraordinary God and a genuine desire to love and forgive others in the same way that God has loved and forgiven me.

When we bring ourselves to the foot of the cross, acknowledge that we are imperfect human beings, and acknowledge that we cannot do this life on our own, then we will experience true freedom. When we ask God for forgiveness and ask Him into our hearts, He hears our cry. He will grab on to our hearts and will transform them from the inside out. We won’t even recognize our old selves because the things that used to make us bitter now make us better. We begin to see changes in our attitude and in the way we live our lives. We become a new creation in Christ (2 Corinthians 5:17). The way we now respond to the unloving ways of others reflects love, mercy, and compassion toward them. Not utter bitterness and a strong desire for them to suffer in the same way we have suffered as a result of their unloving ways.

While we cannot change the unkind and unjust ways of others, we can make changes in us and still experience the joy and peace that come from doing God’s will. Matthew 5:45-47 (The Message) challenges us to demonstrate love toward our adversaries, “Love your enemies. Let them bring out the best in you, not the worst. When someone gives you a hard time, respond with the energies of prayer, for then you are working out of your true selves, your God-created selves. This is what God does. He gives his best—the sun to warm and the rain to nourish—to everyone, regardless: the good and bad, the nice and nasty. If all you do is love the lovable, do you expect a bonus? Anybody can do that”.

John C. Maxwell, author of “Think On These Things”, explains how, “people are known not by how they act when they’re in control, but by how they react when things are beyond their control.” It is at that moment, when things are beyond our control, that we can make the conscious decision to allow our Christ-like character to shine. May we have enough wisdom and humility to choose to love regardless of what we receive in return.









Dear Lord, when things are beyond my control and others don’t treat me right, please help me to choose “to be better” not “bitter”. Please give me the wisdom and strength to love the unlovable. Please help me to love and to forgive them in the same way You have loved and forgiven me. In Jesus’ Name, Amen.

"Seeking God's Wisdom and Direction"

"He who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus" (Philippians 1:6)


It has been some time since I have written. I needed to take a break from my computer (email, facebook, blog, internet) and other things that were causing a distraction and getting in the way of my personal time with God and my family. I guess you could say I was fasting from the internet and seeking God's wisdom and direction.

About a year ago, God put it in my heart to start this blog to reach out and provide encouragement to others. I was excited to start the blog but I also wanted to do it right. I did not want to submit an entry just to write something. My goal and my hope are to be transparent and touch people's hearts in a way that is meaningful and encouraging to them and honoring to God.

As the Fall of 2009 approached, I was beginning to feel extremely tired and fatigued, making it difficult to concentrate on my writing. The tiredness and fatigue were due to a combination of physical and emotional factors, but I later found out that the most significant factor of all was my thyroid not working the way it needed to work. I was diagnosed with hypothyroid and began treatment almost immediately. So it was at that time that I made the choice to get off the treadmill of life and slow down so I could really focus on God's direction for my life and to better understand how He wants to use me through this blog, as well as in other areas of ministry. This blog is all about Him and for Him, not about me. I am simply a vessel He is using to share with others His unconditional love, grace and mercy.

During the last few months, God has been growing me. He has been opening my heart and my mind to His Word and challenging me to trust Him with my all on a daily basis. An easy task? Absolutely not. I have failed many times at this task of "complete submission" to my Lord and Savior, but He is always faithful to give me the strength to get back on track and "run with perseverance the race marked out for me" (Hebrews 12:1). He knows what I need before I know what I need. So I make a conscious effort to hold on to His strength and I take Him at His Word. I go before Him just as I am, trusting that "He who began a good work in me will carry it on to completion" (Philippians 1:6).

I have learned "to be quite content whatever my circumstances. I'm just as happy with little as with much, with much as with little. I've found the recipe for being happy whether full or hungry, hands full or hands empty. Whatever I have, wherever I am, I can do all things through Him who strengthens me" (Philippians 4:13). And one of the most encouraging truths of the Bible is that of 2 Corinthians 12:9, that God's power "is made perfect in our weaknesses". I don't know about you, but I find hope and comfort in knowing that in my moments of weakness I can count on the strength of a Living God to hold me up. And God is faithful to His Word and His promise for deliverance. It is because of His goodness and faithfulness that I am passionate to share with others just how great and awesome He is.

It is like when someone does something really special for you just because they love you or someone who goes above and beyond their call of duty to help you or, better yet, save your life! Wouldn't you want to honor that person in some way?

As I embark on this journey to write for the glory of God, it is my desire to draw people closer to God. It is my prayer that those who read my writings will be blessed, encouraged, and empowered by the work of the Holy Spirit in me. I write about my own personal experiences, with every word being inspired by God's faithful deliverance and power through those experiences. And to the enemy and those looking to discourage me (you know who you are), as I expect you will be attacking, I am wearing the full armor of God (Ephesians 6:10-17), so bring it! God's got me covered!



Dear Lord, thank you for the courage and inspiration to work on this blog. Please keep me humble and mindful to acknowlege you in all my ways. Please bless the people who read this blog. I pray for seeds of the Spirit to be planted in people's hearts and for You to do the increase. In Jesus' Name, Amen.

"Let's Give a Little Jesus"

Let’s Give a Little Jesus,

a thoughtful word or deed,

An act of generosity

for someone who’s in need.

Let’s Give a Little Jesus,

to everyone we meet~

The salesclerk or the server,

the person on the street.

Let’s Give a Little Jesus,

to everyone, large or small…

For Jesus, Lord and Savior,

is the greatest Gift of All!

By Lisa O. Engelhard

Dear Lord, please fill me with Your Spirit and the desire to share a Little Jesus with those I interact with today, that lives may be blessed and You receive the glory. In Jesus' Name, Amen.

Speaking Volumes When Facing Hardships

"That is why, in Christ's sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong" ~ 2 Corinthians 12:10, NIV

I have learned that the Christian life involves hard work. It requires us to give up anything that will get in the way of our relationship with God, to run the race of life patiently, and to fight sin with the power of the Holy Spirit. To follow Jesus does not mean that we will not face conflict or struggle in the race. Believers and non-believers alike will face hardships and discouragement, but it is how we respond to those circumstances that will set us apart from those who don't know God.

When we choose to live for Christ, we become ambassadors for Him and the way we live our lives will speak volumes to those around us. The way we live and treat others will be a testimony of God's work in our lives and in our hearts. Others will follow our example, particularly those closest to us (our children, spouses, family, friends) and we have a responsibility to them if we are living for Christ, as we claim to be.

The way we respond to and deal with struggles and discouragement will demonstrate our Christian faith and character. We will be able to accomplish and endure anything as we follow Jesus and draw on His strength. Then we can use our growing strength to set a example for, help, and encourage those around us who may be weak and struggling.

We can speak volumes to others without having to say a word. The way we live and respond to the circumstances in our lives will speak volumes to those around us and even to those watching from a distance. We never know how our gestures and our actions will affect someone. Our actions could be a blessing or a discouragement to others.

No matter what you are going through today, believe that you can and will endure all things through Christ. As you trust Jesus and draw on His strength, make it a point to be a blessing to someone today.

Dear Lord, please help me to be a blessing to others and to live in a way that will speak volumes about You to those around me. Thank you for being the source of my strength, courage, and endurance. In Jesus' Name, Amen.

POWER VERSES

Acts 14: 22, NIV ~ "We must go through many hardships to enter the Kingdom of God"

2 Corinthians 12: 10, NIV ~ "That is why, for Christ's sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong"

2 Corinthians 6: 4, NIV ~ "As servants of God we commend ourselves in every way: in great endurance, in troubles, hardships and distresses..."

Encouragement For Today

What have you been worrying about lately?

Our fast-moving and changing society can cause crippling anxiety and worry if we don't make a conscious effort to learn how to deal with situations that tend to frustrate us and produce anxiety. I will be addressing worry and anxiety, in relation to what Scripture says about them, in more detail on a later post. For today, I just wanted to share these words from the apostle Paul (Philippians 4:4-9); words that provide us with some specific steps to help us deal with any thing or situation which would tend to frustrate us and produce anxiety.

Philippians 4: 4, 6-9, NIV:

"Rejoice in the Lord always; again I will say, Rejoice. Let your gentleness be evident to all. The Lord is near. Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication, with thanksgiving, let your requests be made known to God. And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds through Christ Jesus. Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable - if anything is excellent or praiseworthy - think about such things. Whatever you have learned or received or heard from me, or seen in me - put it into practice. And the God of peace will be with you"

Dear Lord, please free me from worry and anxiety. Teach me and help me to dwell on and put into practice whatever is true, noble, right, pure, lovely, admirable, excellent, and of praiseworthy. And may You receive the honor, glory and praise for it all. Thank you Father for the power in Your Word. In Jesus' Name, Amen.

"Who You Are When No One's Looking: Choosing Consistency, Resisting Compromise" By Bill Hybels

"Character is what we do when no one is looking...the courage to do what needs doing, the discipline to make decisions and carry them out; the vision to see far into the future and deep into people’s hearts; and the endurance to keep going in spite of ridicule, discomfort or simple boredom" ~ Bill Hybels

We are all at our best when it counts. But what are we like when no one's looking? That's where character comes in - being consistent even when it doesn't seem to matter. Courage. Discipline. Vision. Endurance. Love. These character qualities are quickly becoming endangered. All too often we hear of marriages falling apart, governments lying, businesses cheating and scandals rocking the church. But with God's guidance and strength, we can maintain character that lasts despite temptations and troubles.

Character: Preserving Endangered Qualities

Character – the word is seldom used in the Bible, and we don’t see it very often in newspapers or hear it on television. Yet we know what it means, and we immediately recognize its absence.

People who never use the word character look around them at junior-high promiscuity, busy abortion clinics and the current epidemic of sexually transmitted diseases, and they mourn the passing of morality. They see elected officials taking bribes, business leaders demanding kickbacks and investors parlaying inside information into untold wealth, and they lament the demise of integrity. Or they read about battered wives, jobless husbands and abused children, and they wonder what is happening to caring.

Character, a wise person once said, is what we do when no one is looking. Character is not what we have done, but who we are.

Endangered Character Qualities

People give evidence of strong character in hundreds of ways every day:

• A woman confronts her terror of public speaking so she can tell her church congregation about her miraculous answer to prayer. That’s courage.
  

• A man vows to get up twenty minutes early every morning to jog around the block, and he keeps his vow. That’s discipline.

• A high-school teacher patiently draws out an inattentive student and discovers she is a gifted writer. That’s vision.

• A college student, overwhelmed by tests and term papers, considers dropping out, but decides to stay and study instead. That’s endurance.

These four traits are all on my “endangered character quality” list. They aren’t glamorous, and they aren’t easy. Therefore a lot of people try to get along without them. But the most endangered quality of all is the one that we all think we want – love.

Unfortunately, when we say we want the character quality of love, most of us mean only that we want to be loved. We hope people will admire us and treat us affectionately, and we will try to do the same for them. But people of character go beyond the warm fuzzies to the hard work of loving. They do this in many different ways, often without realizing that they are showing strength of character:

• A woman refuses to make any more excuses for her husband when he misses work because of a hangover. That’s tough love.

• A man notices his daughter’s tear-stained face, and so he sits down and encourages her to tell him what’s on her heart. That’s tenderhearted love.

• A parent gives up an attractive job promotion so the family can stay in the town where they have made friends and put down roots. That’s sacrificial love.
  

• A young widow offers forgiveness to the drunken driver who hit and killed her husband. That’s radical love.

Love, says the apostle Paul, is the most important Christian character trait (1 Corinthians 13:13), and it is probably the least understood. It is extremely difficult to learn to love unless we also have other character traits: the courage to do what needs doing, the discipline to make decisions and carry them out; the vision to see far into the future and deep into people’s hearts; and the endurance to keep going in spite of ridicule, discomfort or simple boredom.

Developing a Strong Character

Character cannot be developed through good resolutions and checklists. It usually requires a lot of hard work, a little pain and years of faithfulness before any of the virtues are consistently noticeable in us.

Developing character, however, does not have to be a grim task. There are secrets to developing each of the character qualities. More important, Jesus Christ – the only person who has ever consistently excelled in every virtue we could name – offers to develop his character in us as we follow Him. This is an offer we can hardly refuse.

Salvation Is Free

No matter how wonderful your character is, it will never be wonderful enough to earn God’s approval. As important as character is, it is not a way to earn salvation. That is because salvation cannot be earned – not even by courage, discipline, vision, endurance and love.

Salvation is a gift from the heavenly Father to us. It cost Him everything – the death of His beloved only Son. It costs us nothing. Hard work cannot earn it; neither can good behavior or sterling character. The only way we can enjoy a relationship with God is by coming to Jesus Christ, our hands outstretched and empty, and saying, “Lord, I want to follow you. Please take me into your family, scrub me, give me new clothes and make me like you.” And Jesus will do exactly that. He will take us as we are and assure us that we are His forever. Then – slowly at first, but surely – He will mold us and shape us until we resemble Him.

This book is for two kinds of people. First, it is for you who, whether Christian or not, admire character strength and see the urgent need for it in our society and in yourself. Second, it is for you who, having given your life to Christ, yearn for spectacular transformations and dazzling displays of virtue.

Character is our world’s most pressing need. If all five billion of us had strong characters, there would be no wars, no hunger, no family breakups, no crime, no poverty. We will not live in such a perfect world until Christ returns and the earth is made new, but, in the meantime, we should not despair. To the extent that our own characters grow stronger, the world will be a better place.

POWER VERSE

1 Corinthians 13:4-8, 13, NIV ~ "Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails…. And now these three remain: faith, hope and love. But the greatest of these is love"

Dear Lord, please give me the guidance and strength to develop and maintain a strong character that lasts despite temptations and troubles. Please help me to choose consistency and to resist compromise in order to grow in love, courage, discipline, vision and endurance. In Jesus’ Name, Amen.

Encouragement For Today

When you grow tired and weary, remember that. . .

"Those who hope in the Lord will renew their strength. They will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not grown weary, they will walk and not be faint"
(Isaiah 40:30-31, NIV)

Whatever trial you may be facing today, remember that
GOD IS BIGGER THAN YOUR PROBLEM.

"With God all things are possible"
(Matthew 19:26, NIV)

"In all your ways acknowledge Him and
He will make your paths straight"
(Proverbs 3:6, NIV)

Dear Lord, please give me more of You and less of me. In Jesus' Name, Amen.