"Treating Others How You Wish To Be Treated"

By Zoe

"Clothe yourselves with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience" (Colossians 3:12, NIV)


What would it look like if the people in your life were to treat you in the same way you treat them? Whether it is a family member, a close friend, or a perfect stranger, how would they treat you based on how you treat them? What do your actions and words toward others reflect about the condition of your heart?

I recently witnessed a middle-aged man, accompanied by his wife, verbally humiliate a hostess at a restaurant in front of dozens of people simply because he was tired of waiting for a table. I initially thought to myself, “Then leave…hello?!” Then I wondered how this man would have felt if someone would have humiliated him in the same way he humiliated that young lady who was clearly doing the best she could to accommodate him.

Following this incident, I felt compelled to write something that would encourage and challenge others, myself included, to be self-aware of how we treat others based on our emotions. I invite you to join me in this journey of self-evaluation and increased awareness of how we treat and respond to the unloving ways of others. I mean, think about it, nobody makes us act this way or that way. It is a choice that we make depending on the condition of our hearts. And the condition of our hearts will depend on our present (or absent) relationship with God.

We automatically love those who love us in return. It is easy to love those people, but what about those who reject us or mistreat us? What about the ones we have poured our love into and suddenly they give us the cold shoulder or they betray us in some way or another? What will we choose to do then? As I thought about it, I reflected on this simple message from Luke 6:31, "Treat others the same way you want them to treat you.”

In Proverbs 18:21, Solomon tells us that, "the tongue has the power of life and death.” The same way words of encouragement can build us up (bringing life to our self-worth), harsh words can tear us down (bringing death to our self-worth). When we are having a bad day, we must identify the root of the problem the moment we recognize we are feeling grumpy, irritable, or frustrated. By identifying the root of the problem, we can refrain from attacking others with a negative attitude and/or hurtful actions and words.

When others fail us, we can make the choice to be better instead of bitter. Now don’t misunderstand me. We are entitled to "feel" our emotions- anger, hurt, or disappointment. We should allow ourselves to feel those emotions. But we are not entitled to "act" on them- treating others based on our emotions alone. When we react out of emotion instead choosing to respond in love, we can cause serious damage to our relationships with others. Love is not just a feeling, but a choice we make; we can make the choice to love others no matter their offense.

God calls us to live in a way that reflects the way He loves us. We must first understand God’s selfless and unconditional love for us if we genuinely desire to love others that way. For those of us who have a desire to be more like Him, we must get into His Word daily. As my 6-year-old daughter says, we need to "exercise our hearts for God" daily. As we get into God's Word and exercise our hearts, we will gain wisdom on how to respond to the unloving ways of others in a Christ-like manner. As we learn how to respond in love and prayer to those who mistreat us, we will experience true joy and peace in your hearts. And I don’t know about you, but I believe that most of us want to experience peace and joy in our hearts and in our lives, along with being loved and feeling appreciated.

I don’t pretend to be the holiest or most spiritual person. I am an ordinary and imperfect person who struggles with every day challenges and who falls short of the glory of God. But I am an ordinary person with an extraordinary God and a genuine desire to love and forgive others in the same way that God has loved and forgiven me.

When we bring ourselves to the foot of the cross, acknowledge that we are imperfect human beings, and acknowledge that we cannot do this life on our own, then we will experience true freedom. When we ask God for forgiveness and ask Him into our hearts, He hears our cry. He will grab on to our hearts and will transform them from the inside out. We won’t even recognize our old selves because the things that used to make us bitter now make us better. We begin to see changes in our attitude and in the way we live our lives. We become a new creation in Christ (2 Corinthians 5:17). The way we now respond to the unloving ways of others reflects love, mercy, and compassion toward them. Not utter bitterness and a strong desire for them to suffer in the same way we have suffered as a result of their unloving ways.

While we cannot change the unkind and unjust ways of others, we can make changes in us and still experience the joy and peace that come from doing God’s will. Matthew 5:45-47 (The Message) challenges us to demonstrate love toward our adversaries, “Love your enemies. Let them bring out the best in you, not the worst. When someone gives you a hard time, respond with the energies of prayer, for then you are working out of your true selves, your God-created selves. This is what God does. He gives his best—the sun to warm and the rain to nourish—to everyone, regardless: the good and bad, the nice and nasty. If all you do is love the lovable, do you expect a bonus? Anybody can do that”.

John C. Maxwell, author of “Think On These Things”, explains how, “people are known not by how they act when they’re in control, but by how they react when things are beyond their control.” It is at that moment, when things are beyond our control, that we can make the conscious decision to allow our Christ-like character to shine. May we have enough wisdom and humility to choose to love regardless of what we receive in return.









Dear Lord, when things are beyond my control and others don’t treat me right, please help me to choose “to be better” not “bitter”. Please give me the wisdom and strength to love the unlovable. Please help me to love and to forgive them in the same way You have loved and forgiven me. In Jesus’ Name, Amen.

"Seeking God's Wisdom and Direction"

"He who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus" (Philippians 1:6)


It has been some time since I have written. I needed to take a break from my computer (email, facebook, blog, internet) and other things that were causing a distraction and getting in the way of my personal time with God and my family. I guess you could say I was fasting from the internet and seeking God's wisdom and direction.

About a year ago, God put it in my heart to start this blog to reach out and provide encouragement to others. I was excited to start the blog but I also wanted to do it right. I did not want to submit an entry just to write something. My goal and my hope are to be transparent and touch people's hearts in a way that is meaningful and encouraging to them and honoring to God.

As the Fall of 2009 approached, I was beginning to feel extremely tired and fatigued, making it difficult to concentrate on my writing. The tiredness and fatigue were due to a combination of physical and emotional factors, but I later found out that the most significant factor of all was my thyroid not working the way it needed to work. I was diagnosed with hypothyroid and began treatment almost immediately. So it was at that time that I made the choice to get off the treadmill of life and slow down so I could really focus on God's direction for my life and to better understand how He wants to use me through this blog, as well as in other areas of ministry. This blog is all about Him and for Him, not about me. I am simply a vessel He is using to share with others His unconditional love, grace and mercy.

During the last few months, God has been growing me. He has been opening my heart and my mind to His Word and challenging me to trust Him with my all on a daily basis. An easy task? Absolutely not. I have failed many times at this task of "complete submission" to my Lord and Savior, but He is always faithful to give me the strength to get back on track and "run with perseverance the race marked out for me" (Hebrews 12:1). He knows what I need before I know what I need. So I make a conscious effort to hold on to His strength and I take Him at His Word. I go before Him just as I am, trusting that "He who began a good work in me will carry it on to completion" (Philippians 1:6).

I have learned "to be quite content whatever my circumstances. I'm just as happy with little as with much, with much as with little. I've found the recipe for being happy whether full or hungry, hands full or hands empty. Whatever I have, wherever I am, I can do all things through Him who strengthens me" (Philippians 4:13). And one of the most encouraging truths of the Bible is that of 2 Corinthians 12:9, that God's power "is made perfect in our weaknesses". I don't know about you, but I find hope and comfort in knowing that in my moments of weakness I can count on the strength of a Living God to hold me up. And God is faithful to His Word and His promise for deliverance. It is because of His goodness and faithfulness that I am passionate to share with others just how great and awesome He is.

It is like when someone does something really special for you just because they love you or someone who goes above and beyond their call of duty to help you or, better yet, save your life! Wouldn't you want to honor that person in some way?

As I embark on this journey to write for the glory of God, it is my desire to draw people closer to God. It is my prayer that those who read my writings will be blessed, encouraged, and empowered by the work of the Holy Spirit in me. I write about my own personal experiences, with every word being inspired by God's faithful deliverance and power through those experiences. And to the enemy and those looking to discourage me (you know who you are), as I expect you will be attacking, I am wearing the full armor of God (Ephesians 6:10-17), so bring it! God's got me covered!



Dear Lord, thank you for the courage and inspiration to work on this blog. Please keep me humble and mindful to acknowlege you in all my ways. Please bless the people who read this blog. I pray for seeds of the Spirit to be planted in people's hearts and for You to do the increase. In Jesus' Name, Amen.